Talk about it. Tell someone. Ask for help. Echo echo echo echo…
Yep it’s definitely important to talk about mental health and to end the stigma surrounding it. The problem is – there is a white elephant in the room and always will be. Admitting you have a mental illness and talking about it is quite a bit different to telling people you are experiencing it right now. Like now.
Most people do not know what to do or what to say – and whatever way they react you feel like a pain in the arse anyway. You are the downer, the fragile one. the sad sack, the mad crazy one.
Everything has a use by date when it comes to dealing with mental illness. We say there isn’t but the reality for people with the illness and for the people who live with sufferers, is they eventually hit the wall. Frustration sets in and invisible lines get drawn in the imaginary sand. It’s totally understandable – we all have limits.
Sometimes not talking about it, retreating, being a little unsociable and all the other typical defence mechanisms of the mentally ill is also a respite for everyone else – they just don’t like to admit it. And that’s OK. We can’t be switched on for someone all the time. It’s exhausting and to be frank – it’s a drag. I get that.
As a full time carer I often cross that line in the sand mentally. I get pissed off and impatient. I don’t want to have to think about someone else’s welfare 24/7 – it’s bloody exhausting. Moods shift, attitudes change and before I know it I am feeling completely head fucked. We’re human and so are the people around us. It’s not always the best thing to talk about every bloody thing. Sometimes it’s enough to just retreat a little and give each other space. Sometimes that little bit of space is all we need.